Key points
- In Australia, men are three times more likely than women to die by suicide.
- Mental health advocate Glenn Cotter says many men still feel a bit of stigma about opening up about mental health.
- Some men are also unaware of their symptoms and find it difficult to access professional help.
This article contains references to suicide.
Glenn Cotter has spent years in suicide prevention and mental health advocacy, traveling the country to educate men about the importance of speaking up if they are struggling.
But when he experienced failure himself, he was hesitant to open up and tried to keep his issues to himself.
“I was ashamed of the fact that I could stand up and tell other people how to take care of themselves and I couldn’t do it for myself,” he said.
Cotter said while mental health awareness is generally improving, many men – particularly in regional areas – find it difficult to talk about it or access support.
Cotter eventually opened up about his issues to friends, who called him regularly to catch up with him and ask how he was doing.
He says these conversations have turned his life around.
“The saying that a conversation can change a life – for me it was incredibly true,” he said.
Turning loss into awareness
Robert Harris was a passionate musician, devoted father, avid surfer and popular member of the local community.
Two years ago he committed suicide.
His son Jay Harris described the loss as “devastating” and said it had a huge impact on their whole family.
In response, a group of them came together to turn their loss into action, creating the live music event for Bob.
The event celebrates Róbert’s life as well as raising awareness of the importance of discussing mental health and raising money for suicide prevention HR OK?.
Harris said she believes men from older generations have a particularly difficult time talking about mental health.
“Dad didn’t comment on the seriousness of his condition and kept saying ‘I’ll be fine mate, I’m just chilling out'” [and] he often avoids things like going to doctors,” he said.
“I think through conversations and awareness, these stigmas are slowly breaking down as the generations go by.”
Jay Harris organized the Song for Bob festival after his father, Bob, died by suicide. Source: Follows / Jay Harris
Harris, who has also experienced struggles with mental health, said she hopes the event can encourage other people to reach out and ask for help if they need it.
“It’s a conversation I’ve had with a lot of my friends and continue to have,” he said.
“I used to be ashamed of being depressed and thought there was something wrong with me, but over the years I’ve learned that it’s not really a weakness to talk.”
Dad did not want to describe the seriousness of the situation.
Jay Harris
Men are more likely to die by suicide
According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS), there are an average of nine deaths by suicide every day in Australia.
Men are three times more likely to die by suicide than women, according to the ABS.
In 2022, 2,455 men died by suicide in Australia; an increase of 2.6 percent from 2021.
For men aged 15 to 49, suicide and self-harm were the leading causes of ill health and death.
Simon Rice, director of the Movember Institute of Men’s Health, told SBS News that there are likely to be a number of factors influencing men’s mental health and suicide rates.
Rice said the barriers to getting treatment include awareness of symptoms, difficulty getting professional help and their own sense of their male identity and perception of masculinity.
“The need to be in control, the need to be stoic, the need to be seen as invulnerable … are really important needs for some men,” he said.
“We need to make sure men feel that even though they have these built-in needs, people still want to support them and services are available to support them to get better.”
Rice said that despite the increased awareness of mental health, some men continue to struggle to speak up when they are struggling.
“I think sometimes men get caught in the trap of thinking and feeling like they have to go it alone – sometimes it’s okay and their symptoms can go away naturally, but not always,” he said.
“Reaching out to people in your network; loved ones, family, a close colleague at work or service … trying to reach out and get other people’s opinions about it can be a very valuable step.”
“The hardest thing I’ve ever done”
Steve Le Marquand has been the man on the other end of this conversation several times throughout his life.
Le Marquand, who works as an actor, told SBS News that both he and many of his friends had struggled with alcohol and other substances.
He was forced to give up drinking due to illness, which he said led to people coming to him for their issues.
“I became a partner they could talk to about quitting, how to deal with mental health and how to fill the void when you quit drinking,” he said.
“People came to me at times when they were experiencing extreme suicidal thoughts; one so very much as he was in a situation where he was about to take his own life and I immediately ran over.
Not long after this incident, Le Marquand’s friend committed suicide.
He described the feeling as “hollow” and “empty” and said he struggled with whether he could or should have done anything differently.
If he could talk to his friend again, Le Marquand said he would ask if there was anything that could have changed the devastating outcome.
“And I would like to tell them that they are loved.” They were very, very loved and they just couldn’t see it or feel it,” he said.
Cotter said asking for help is the hardest — but most vital — step for many men struggling with mental health.
He described asking for help as the hardest thing he’s ever done and said the most important way to support someone is to simply listen.
“To sit and really listen to someone, it’s hard.
“But that’s the biggest thing for so many people, just hearing you and not feeling invisible … so the fact that someone cares and sits and listens is a huge thing.”
Readers looking for crisis support can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14, Suicide Helpline on 1300 659 467 and Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 (for young people up to 25).
More information and mental health support can be found at and by phone 1300 22 4636.
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